Then this Ramadhan-ul-Mubarak is just right for you. Here are a few tips to get you off the hook …
- Develop insight: That is, develop the understanding that you are indeed hooked on to the wrong thing. If you think that pornography is “OK”, then you’ll never develop your spiritual side, alas.
- Develop motivation: Why do you want to get rid of your addiction? The best motivation is to do so for the sake of Almighty God and His Beloved Prophet (peace be upon him).
- Avoid the wrong situations: As much as humanly possible, avoid those situations where porn is easily accessible, e.g. company with the wrong people, watching television, lone hours at the internet, etc.
- Follow every bad act with a good one: Such as two nafl of prayers, or a sadaqa (charity).
- Stay busy: An idle mind certainly is the devil’s workshop, so involve yourself in something constructive.
- Say the five prayers: Be staunch on the five obligatory prayers. If you don’t pray them, then start NOW. Do it, no matter how hard it is for you. Even if you have to shower before every prayer. Try to do the fardh, sunnah, and nafl rak’ats, all of them.
- Say the tahajjud prayer: No kidding here. Not only say the tahajjud prayer, but also spend some time crying before the Lord. If you can’t cry, then make a crying face (no kidding again). Such remembrance deep in the middle of the night will break the spell of the nafs and will work wonders for your overall personality.
- Keep nafl fasts: Remember that fasting is one of the strongest ways to keep the sexual urges at bay. Fast on a daily basis in Ramadhan. In the other months, you may consider fasting every alternate day or every Monday or any other schedule that suits you. (However, fasting on a daily basis has been recommended against in months other than Ramadhan.)
- Keep company with the Awliya (Friends of God) and the Sulaha (Pious People): At the very least, avoid company with people who will detract you.
- Update (Jan 21, 2007): Please read this link on how to give up masturbation.
6 comments:
Dr. Khan: this is a most interesting post. I wholeheartedly agree with you that the practice of personal piety is a tremendous answer to temptation and bondage to such practices as pornography. If it is not an offense to you, I would enjoy corresponding with you through our mutual blogs.
I encountered your blog because either you have visited my blog, or someone using your blog searched for mine and visited. Mine is called STAND, at stand.townhall.com. As I was examining visits to my site, I discovered yours and found your writing fascinating. I hope you might enjoy an ongoing correspondence with me, although if you object, I will understand.
Despite our differences, I found myself interested in a number of things you and I have in common - for example:
(1) You and I both appear to be striving for increased personal piety and morality among believers in our respective faiths;
(2) You and I have both written on the fallacies of Darwinism (your "The Unscientific Myth of Darwinian Evolution and the Qur’ān ..." and my "The Search for Meaning in the Evolution Debate").
I will be honest with you right up front, you and I also have significant differences between us - most importantly, I am a Christian, what is often referred to here in the States as an "evangelical Christian." I don't know whether you have any more knowledge of the distinctions between different varieties of Christians than I do of the different varieties within your own faith, but it could be one of many discussions two educated men like you and I might enjoy. I hope you might be surprised that I have read from the Qur’ān (usually spelled "Koran" here, by the way) - not in its entirety yet, but significant parts of it.
I had written in my own blog recently that I wished to find well-reasoned Muslims willing to denounce the extremism of terrorism just as I denounce similar persons within the broad umbrella of Christianity, and behold - I find your blog, where you have done just that.
I believe that both you and I - along with our respective readers - would benefit to the exchanges of ideas that you and I might be able to have if we were to read and comment on each others' blogs; I also think that you and I might also derive increased traffic to our blogs if we were to engage such a correspondence, and that increased traffic might be of some benefit to the good relations of both our cultures.
I know there will be times when you and I will disagree if we begin this, possibly quite strenuously; however, I can promise you that I will never intentionally give offense, and would accord you the respect to which you are entitled; and I believe you would do the same for me.
Would this kind of exchange be of interest to you? Would you enjoy this as much as I believe I would?
If you are not interested, then I wish you well; the work you are doing within your profession is noble work, and I hope you continue to have good success with it. Best wishes to you -
- Keith Arnold
blogging as "Qoheleth" at stand.townhall.com
Mr Arnold:
Thank you for your kind words...
Some commenter had linked at your blog to a post on my blog. It got registered on my web counter, so that was how I came across your blog.
Yes, we certainly can carry out a correspondence through our blogs.
I hope we can engage in removing mutual misunderstandings, instead of pointing our guns at each other (i.e. engaging in polemics). I also hope we can work together where we find common ground, e.g. the fight against immorality.
Having said that, I welcome you on board.
Dr. Khan: a few days ago, I posted an introduction to you and your blog over at my own (in my October 11 post, titled "A Circle of Friends"). I assume some of my readers have already begun visiting your site.
I'm looking forward to our exchanges. Though some of my upcoming posts may not interest you because of our upcoming state and local elections, you're welcome to participate any time you'd like. Best wishes to you across the miles -
- Keith
Salaams and thanks for raising some highly topical and important issues, especially as we approach Ramadan.
Speaking of pornography, one of the most insightful discussions I've come across was on a Mormon website which discussed the striking parallels (psychologically, neurologially, socially, ethically, ...) between it and traditional drug addiction.
In the US, there's a evangelical Christian group dedicated to this entitled "Every man's struggle", if memory serves.
It cuts across class, race, and religion. And harms *everybody*.
Wa alaykum salam ...
Thank you for your comment. Here is a comprehensive and well-written article (better than mine) on how to fix the problem.
Pornography is affecting people all around the world, and does require a serious thought. Internet is a media which through which porn was made so accessible, I would say the same medium can be used to educate people about all the ill effects of pornography. I have seen quite a few sites doing that already, the one which is worth mentioning is http://www.throughtheflame.org. There is a discussion forum where people who are affected can discuss their problems and sort out the issues and are also provided with expert guidance.
I would like to add that, everyone should join hands and support these sites to help spread awareness among people.
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