Thursday, November 10, 2005

51 Ways to Know That Your Spirituality is Decadent ...

You know that your spirituality is decadent when:
  1. you think that Islam is some Arabic religion
  2. you want your wife to wear the hijab and/or niqab, but you can't help watching that sexy girl on television
  3. you don't want to know that a time will come when you will be very ugly indeed
  4. you think that tasteful nudity is not vulgar
  5. you don't want God to reveal Himself to a man who thrives in a desert and lives in a mud house
  6. you think that God has lost His case because someone in Guantanamo Bay blasphemed the Qur'an
  7. you think that Islam is a great religion, but you don't want Muhammad (peace be upon him) to be your master
  8. you think that Islam needs modification to suit modernity
  9. you feel that God is wonderful when something happy happens to you, but you feel that God is not-so-wonderful when something unhappy happens to you
  10. you want to own a better car than your colleague's
  11. you have a very good excuse for not praying when the time for prayer comes
  12. you think that religion is the antithesis of science
  13. you don't want to know that your beautiful body converts your good-smelling food into bad-smelling shit
  14. you think that science is the antithesis of religion
  15. you are ok with your wife not wearing hijab, but you complain about the nudity on television
  16. you consistently fail to shed tears in remembrance of God
  17. you think that God is currently on the losing side because apparently there is more evil than good in the world today
  18. you do not shave your armpits and pubic hair regularly
  19. you think that you can deliver a scholarly discourse now that you have access to a searchable online index of the Qur'an and/or Hadith
  20. you think that since your parents christened you when you were born, you would like to die as a Christian
  21. you think that it is ok for you to cheat on your spouse because you know that he (or she) has also cheated on you
  22. you think that Islam is some third-world religion
  23. you are not comfortable with the idea of some people being doomed to Hellfire, because God "isn't cruel"
  24. you think that a woman should have the right to expose her body completely, but should not have the right to cover her body completely
  25. you are not often lost in thoughts about the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
  26. you turn to spirituality when you feel physically ugly
  27. you think that shirk is an Islamic invention
  28. you say the word f*** at least ten times in a day
  29. you think that you will go to Heaven because you have never even as much as violated a traffic signal
  30. you think that your good deeds will take you to Heaven
  31. you think you can bring a revolution in your country, but you consistently fail to bring a revolution in your own self
  32. you think that tasawwuf (sufism) is a heresy
  33. you think that Islam has encouraged polygamy
  34. you want to look at beautiful women because the Hadith says that "God is beautiful and He loves beauty"
  35. you want to be the most famous person in the world
  36. you think that shirk only means believing in more than one God
  37. you think that homosexual marriages should be allowed since it is somebody's own private business
  38. you think that it is ok for a woman to lead men in congregational prayer
  39. you think that Islam is an ancient religion
  40. you are not a practising Muslim because the Qur'an says, "There is no compulsion in religion"
  41. you think that Muslims worship an idol named Ka'bah
  42. you don't want to know that you are the product of a filthy liquid
  43. you fail to see what is so damn sinful about drinking alcohol
  44. you know five reasons why the chicken crossed the road, but you are still trying to figure out why God created Man
  45. you want to look sexy because it makes you feel good about your body
  46. you want to own a better car than your neighbour's
  47. you think that all men are equal
  48. you tell your kid to say to the man on the line that you are not at home
  49. you have been disrespectful to a Muslim scholar at some point in your life
  50. you think that since sex is a natural desire, it is ok for you (though you aren't married)
  51. you don't want to apologize to that man because it makes you feel that you are inferior to him

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